Do you remember?
by Theficaddict
Summary: Sometimes, memories are all you have left. One shot : Rated T just to be safe : implied previous Derek/oc friendship


**This is something I came up with at 3 in the morning right and ended up working until it was time for me to get up, and I figured why not make an account and share with you all my work? This is the first time I've posted so if anything comes off as offensive please let me know. I'm also open to turning this into an actual story with chapters and such, so if you're interested in that let me know!**

 **I do not own anything but my own original creations.**

 **Memories**

 _Though miles come between us_

 _And distance keeps us apart_  
 _Nothing can ever change_  
 _The love inside my heart_

 _I may not be there with you_  
 _Every minute of the day,_  
 _But you're always here with me_  
 _In at least a thousand ways_

 _Whether it be a thought,_  
 _Or a moment that we've shared,_  
 _It only takes a second_  
 _To get from here to there_

 _Though I cannot really feel_  
 _You here at my side,_  
 _It's always nice to know_  
 _I've got these memories in my mind_

 _I Miss You_

Derek still thinks about her.

Sometimes it's the little things, the twinkle in her eyes when she laughed, her love of the color purple. He knows it's silly, to think about a girl who he hasn't seen in nearly eight years, even though he'd known her much longer than that, but even just reminding himself of the way she used to laugh- loud and unashamed- brought himself some weird since of comfort. He doesn't even mean to half the time, he doesn't want to remember too much, but then Erica will cock her eyebrow in the same way or Stiles will rave about some movie she used to love and suddenly he's taking a trip down memory lane and he can't deny himself once he's on that road. The memories might just be the echoes of the years they spent together, full of the inside jokes and exchanged secrets that can only best friends can know, are all he has left of her.

It gets worse when the pack leaves, the empty void that sits in the center of his heart opens up when they walk out his front door and the pain of loneliness sneaks into his bones. Those are the hours spent looking back over his life, replaying the life of the old Derek, the one who died the same night his family did, and wonders why he made the choices he made. She'd been so supportive of him, so forgiving even for some girl he let hang around him as a kid. At least that's what he told himself when he would "forget" their plans and go hangout with Kate instead, when the feel of the older woman's tongue caressing his own only seemed to quell the guilt that churned in his stomach. He wishes he could go back and warn his old self that the harder he tried to forget her, the more he'd remember.

The pack doesn't say anything when their Alpha gets that look in his eyes, one that they know means that he's in another time, a world that probably doesn't revolve around waiting on the next big bad and keeping a group of teenagers in check . They don't ask questions or crack jokes, not even a raise of an eyebrow or a teasing smirk. They understand that not all things can be said, that some things can't even begin to put into words. It's hard not to take notice of how different he looks in those in those small moments, still broody, but he's a younger, more exhausted version of himself and it's only then the teenagers really understand how hard life has beaten the invincible Derek Hale.

Sometimes, when he talks to Lydia, she can see the questions bubbling just beneath the surface.

 _How is she? Why did she leave? Is she happy? Does she remember?_

She doesn't answer them, although she can tell it's only another punch in the gut for him, but she loves her sister, would kill and die for her without batting an eyelash and it's her job to protect her, even though Lydia is the younger. She cans his eyes how much pain it brings him, how much he loves her even if he refuses to acknowledge it as anything more than platonic. They're soul mates, but even if her sister forgives him for shattering her heart, Lydia doesn't have too.

 **The poem is titled Memories in my Mind and the site I found it from did not list an author unfortunately, but all credit goes to them. Please don't be shy! Feedback is welcomed.**


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